The material things that a man has to attract a woman is never a problem unless that is all he has going for him and he is using his material wealth to lure a woman in. In that circumstance who is worse and who is better? The man that puts a fancy car on a hook and drags in a woman or the woman that gets hooked by the expensive item and comes in for a taste? So with respect to the woman, is this gold digging?  By definition, gold digging is a person who dates others purely to extract money from them, in particular a woman who strives to marry a wealthy man. Despite the formal definition, it is safe to agree that  a gold digger can be a man or a woman striving to marry for wealth. So if you are a person that enjoys the finer things in life and has the best of everything because you work hard and deserve it, are you setting a trap that may pull in the wrong prey?


Let’s be clear, and use a man for the sake of convenience. Here are some of the characteristics of a man trapper:

  • He wants a woman to know right off the bat all the things that he has
  • He talks about his income and brags about his assets
  • The conversation is always about him and his this and that…
  • He is constantly talking about the costs of his material items
  • Money’s no object when he is busy flossing
  • The imaginary line is drawn dark and thick between him and the have nots
  • There is delight with his feelings of superiority
  • He is really insecure and the material items are his safety net


So, you as a smart woman with beauty, brains and your own material assets and have gotten yourself caught on the hook of man that uses his material items to get women. Despite his normal pattern of attracting “a needy woman”, you have landed in his net. If you like him and would really consider keeping him around.


These are the things that you must do right off the bat:

  • Discourage him from talking about assets until you know each other better
  • Let him know your priorities and how you view material items
  • Don’t get into a power game over money with him, this could appear to be a challenge
  • Draw the line on what you find offensive and distasteful
  • Identify his triggers and what causes him to start flexing
  • Point out the nonmaterial things that you respect and like about him


If a couple such as this can learn to respect the differences and celebrate their similarities they will probably develop a great relationship. A man that has built wealth can only appreciate a real woman that comes to the table with something more than an appetite.  Real boss women that know how to sit back and let this type of man play his role as a provider will win him over and get him to trash his trap.