It happens out of the blue, when you least expect it.  You’re living your life , enjoying the day and the phone rings, you glance over and THAT name appears across the screen.  Ok, so now two things immediately cross your mind. First, why do I still have that name stored in my phone??? And secondly, should I pick it up??? No matter what your decision, it is a heart stopping moment.  It is important to recognize that the are many circumstances that determine to what degree your heart skips a beat. How much time has passed since you last spoke, who broke up with whom, was it messy, was it a marriage or an engagement, what’s your current status and most importantly do you still care? Next thing to consider is the time of the call.  A call at noon on a Tuesday may be a “hi how ya doin”, while a Friday call at midnight may be an intoxicating, “I still have feelings for you” call or let’s be honest…a booty call.

Whatever the reason or circumstance, you are in complete control of the call because you are the recipient.  If you decide to pick it up, and let’s face it, most people do. You may chose to remain in the the driver’s seat and answer with the basic,  “hello”. Some may chose to answer with more playfulness or banter, but remember, the more you say will only decrease your chances of finding out the real reason for the call. “Hey you” or “what do I owe the privilege of this call to”, will simply turn the ball over to the other side of the court.  So let’s say, regardless of the situation you have moved on and you are in fact happily committed in a great relationship. You will want to stay committed to finding out why you are receiving a call. You will want to remain in control and show that you are sticking by the break up. It is not easy to be business as usual especially with someone that you shared  close and personal space with, but you must remember that this person is an ex for a reason and before the call you were in another space in another time.

If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything

When you get to a certain age it’s time to leave all of the nonsense alone. Time is short and wasting it should not be an option. It is hard to steer straight ahead while looking in your rearview mirror. Sometimes we complicate our lives and then wonder why we are not further along. We see others happy and wonder how we can achieve that same level of happiness. The answer is simple, it’s called commitment. Committing to yourself to be happy and to do  right things by yourself and others is the start. Protecting the life you built and your future is  more important than anything. If you are honest you will know how to accept the complement of the call and hang up without compromising yourself and your future. Keep your integrity and virtue intact and go back to living your life.